Machine Gun Girl

Does the names of all the pierceable parts
Roll off your pin-tamed tongue
Machine-gun girl?
Blood running down your face, your desirous rush, your spattered pearls?

Desiring difference so disco desperately
Whirling, writhing , sameness of sight
The flailing arms and lipstick legs of love
Gnashing gnarly whinnying whites

Hopeful still, slightly shocking, the wanton laddy, fodder for gawking?
Lurid lace, two girls kissing, MySpace
The Spanish Mohawk weirdly foo-foo fluff?
Should your baited breath, sing dirges of death?

Are you riding to battle, in downtown Seattle, outlaw-biker gang colors enough?
The tribal tattoo, a silly Halloween fool
A child’s dream, of being rough, tuff and sure enough, tattered stuff
Thorny mast, past full bloom

A 24-7 bastion of ball-busting fusion
A cacophony cart wheeling confusion
Too much trying, too tragically hip
With pouty ,poor, little punctured-ass lips

Birthday_Girl

Glancing the godforsaken glass
With my impatient toothy keys
Listening for soundless vibrations
Seeking, the peering peeking person

As your face appears like the quarter moon vanilla sky

Towely, wet and wild you prance forth!
Making my heart skip, stutter-step, stop
Splendidly, nature naked
Dripping with delicious delight

We meet mid-kitchen hardwood’s embrace

Ensuing of furious fumbling
Kiss killing the passionate persistence
Winnowing the want of hunger eyed suns
Stair-stepping travel tossing tussle

Bed-blinded with cool cotton’s caress

I rock forward, into you
Your warm wetness welcomes
Soft sounds surrender spicy skin
Mysterious sameness overwhelms

Intelligent innocence incarnate

Calm comfort comes a calling
Leaving you still sleeping soundly
In your welcoming, wantonly warm, bed
And in leaving, know you there, happy in the knowing

Bordered by the black-blind deaf- dog

The many-wrecks road home curves to entwine me
Assiduous asphalt assaults
Feeling the lonely disconsolation
Of being apart from my love

Stormy Whispers

From Him:



As a scheming child
When the storm grew dangerously dark
The brazen wind shifting shamelessly
I would sneak outside
To crawl in my red wagon

For my mast I had a splendid bamboo pole
My giggling hands found it insanely suitable
A blanket served as sail
The wind whipped me wild
What fun for me!

Wagon wheels screamed and so did I
As I contemplated future mysteries
Delighted, in the knowing, that someday
I would no longer have be childish
Confident, in learning all-powerful big-people magic

I could explore many matters of my making
Like little girls
I had cute kissed nearby neighbor Laura Hamlin
Her blonde mouth tasted oddly, salty sweet
But I liked it in some inescapable, inexplicable way

I knew these girls had something cooking
Working feverishly to figure it out
Playing Doctor to explore their nakedness
Were they an acquired taste?
What in hell did it all mean?

And now I see your appraising gaze
From your learned, limpid, lake-like eyes
Your festive hair
Your nubile twisting body
Ripe with ecstatic, esoteric girl knowledge

Now no wagon can thrill me with a scare
No furtive sail can pull me through the air
Before I was forgetfully fine, ricocheting down the hall
Now, lately, I am lacking and a little lonely
When you are not there

The mysterious sameness of powerful promises
Thoughts simmering on low heat
Halloween winds whistle near
Deliciously, you are salty sweet
As you whisper stormy kisses in my ear



From Her:


I invite you to girl-world
never giving you the password
or code
or handshake
but you are not blinded by this secrecy
but a welcome guest....

just as I am
learning to be a woman
at the touch of your lips, hands
mind

The Wet World

On Haines Wharf's ancient spine
The timbers would hop and jump squealing with pain
Of various vehicles long remembered
Sea salt smell and boat motors blue smoke
Ever-greedy sea gulls gliding

In the back, in a "off limits to public” place
By the small shake shack, with opaque wizened windows
Where the boat lift motor was haphazardly lounging
With murky mysterious mixtures milling about in rusty cans
And old tools and rags of course

There was a large crack amongst the boards
And peering through this rent in the pier
A door to a watery world was opened
The information revealed varied with the tides,
The sunlight, the weather and nature's perversity

Once, a huge school of piling perch had gathered
They had bunched up in a fixed formation
Sculling in shaded standstills
Slowly, silently, they slipped along the sand
Revealing the secrets of their species

I never studied schoolwork more studiously
Spying intently how they ate
Visually separating the blue perch from the silver
Whispering to my buddy Brock
As if they could hear our impish intentions

Imagining shallow water stealth spookiness
Instead of fat contentment
It seemed like a Rockwell black-and-white print
Piscatorial perfection
Until all hell broke loose when hooked

The blurs of fat fighting furies
Stumbling, squirming, yelling to stay connected
Threading the beauty into steaming sunlight
Into our world
Of secret smiles and crayon color

Silver sides shivering with sparkling scaled stripes
Miracles of cunning creation for us to touch
A true wet wonderment
We exchanged an intimate knowledge
Until we sadly kissed them and sent them home

Darwin's Painting

Darkly sweating, sultry secrets
Blues and greens without color
Fairies fly, with fine honed fury
A film Noir clicking, sounds of mother

Wet woods dripping, leaves of love
Choking, uncombed, manes of moss
Natures’ hell-bent, heaving, breast
Swirling mist, and all the rest

Creatures live, and creatures perish
Maslow’s hierarchy, it never varies
Demented desires, a desperate dash
They tried, they died, they did their best

They run weeping, so death afraid
The blood of innocents, slowly seeping
So very rich and ruby red
Brutally ballistic, the hunger fed

God believes in Darwin’s painting
The labyrinth still stands, slowly gaining
They faint, they fade, they fail, they fall
Angelic, chaste, clean and crimeless

The uncatchable fish

The uncatchable fish
Truly a river god
A wonder
So very proud of his longevity
His radiant fins skull slowly

Has he graduated at the top of his class?
Has he built a robust business?
Does he have a trophy wife?
Is he a quoted author?

No
Though he bested the one who has
He has beat the one who is
He wears his scars proudly
In his piscatorial perfection

When younger, just a sprat really
He would jump into things greedily
He wanted to be first
To grab the prize and run

But the sting of sharp realization
Has made him philosophical
He has become methodical
A bit of a sage really

The most beautiful yellow mayfly
Is just one of many for the tasting
The most perfect tidbit
Is another’s bitter pill of destruction

Time is on his side
Look twice and bite once he has learnt
Think about what you are doing
And why you are doing it

Is the timing right?
If not turn your back and walk away
The early bird doesn’t get the worm
The early bird gets nailed to a wall

The youngsters come and go
Many don’t stay long enough to create an impression
Just blurs of color and motion
They think they are indestructible….HA!

is death like sleeping?

Is heaven like dreaming?
Has jelly-roll jesus
Rough hewn my suite

Holy hand wrought
Before human thought
A delicious golden teat

Is life like cheating
Crawling creeping charm
Jitterbug in haste

Is death like sleeping
So very chocolate warm
Give me her to taste

Quaking nervous moments
Chiding my higher power
Purple lost and dour

Sleepiness of aches
Painful pill to take
Waking the wrong hour

The narrow hissing road
Tongue testing tear
Biting streams of thirst

Will they help you if you ask?
Will they reach you if you grasp
When you’re at your very worst

Let me close my eyes
To dive dark inside
Swimming through the heat

As I lie down beside her
Let me smell her hair
For someday we shall meet

We will kiss each other’s mouths
We will arch each other’s brows
Forever we will sleep

My Addiction

Like licking honey
off a sharp knife
my addiction

Sinful eyes of want
soul searing need
loving affliction


She whispers prayers
in the night
to salt my dreams


As an animal
cinnamon-sweet
carnal screams

So true and clear
her black-green
jealous heart


She claws my back
she draws my blood
she tears me apart


she beckons
pain to vanish
my addiction

Windows of the mind

Well religion is an interesting thing; it is a type of window into the human mind. Where ever you go they seem to have some kind of religion to explain the unexplainable. I suppose in some ways it saves time. When a kid asks where did the world come from? Where do we go when we die? You can just trot out the standard line.

The Arabs have reason to be pissed at us really, we continually go over there, where we have no business, and try and control them, and oh yes, kill them. Things were more or less fine until the crusades and the West started that…not them. Although many people think it was just to get Jerusalem into Christian hands again it was mainly about looting and pillaging and making a buck. One thing I enjoy is medieval history. Did you know that one of the big deals during the Crusades was finding Christian artifacts? Things like a piece of the cross, or Jesus’ shroud or maybe the lance that pierced Jesus’ side? These things would be put into the local cathedral in town and then the faithful would go on a pilgrimage throughout Europe to see them, touch them, pray over them, and get just a little closer to baby Jesus. It is funny in a way that even back then the local nobles were trying to boost tourism. What better way to do that then sack Jerusalem again?

Of course if Iraq had no oil we wouldn’t be there now. Cheney and all that lot don’t care two whits about “Regime change” and human rights and all that rot. Iraq was never any threat to us and I wrote about that before we invaded. Iraq and the world in general is a more dangerous place by far, now, than before we invaded….ah well.

The thing about religion that I find fascinating is when there is proof that the particular beliefs are bullshit, the people still believe. They discount the evidence and still go along. The Mormon religion is a perfect example of this. They have a written history from the start. The Mormon Church has been involved with all kinds of shady dealings, even recently. The Mormons are the only large group that for years has condoned sexual abuse of youngsters (other than the Catholic church of course), even Brigham Young “married” 14 year old twins that he was legal “guardian” for. When my little door-to-door friends come around I discuss this with them. The previous two came by several times; they even mowed my lawn at one point. The last two though got mad at me. They kept telling me to “pray about it” to find the truth about their religion. I told them to “read” to find the truth. As they went down my driveway they were yelling PRAY! I yelled back READ!!! HAHA!!

People always say that a religion or belief in a religious system has to be based on faith. I frankly don’t buy that. To me faith is something that is earned, not something that is drilled into your young head by rote, or something that is simply accepted as the belief-du-jour. Nor should faith circumvent troublesome things like facts. But it does, each and every day. I can honestly say with no hesitation the world in general is a far worse place with religion, than without it.
John Lennon’s song is very easy to imagine.
The only religious practices that are worth the powder and shot to blow them to hell are those that do some good, measurable good, right here and now. Things like meditation for instance provide benefits. Beliefs that living a good life will bring good back to you are helpful. The concept of Karma is helpful. The concepts where you can live your life as a total ass and at the last possible second accept Jesus and go to heaven, those kinds of beliefs, are either harmful or at best useless. Beliefs where if you badmouth the church you should be killed or tortured are not helpful to the human condition. Regardless of what some Muslims will say if you are labeled a heretic or disagree with their teachings you are okey-dokey to kill. I have read the teachings of Muhammad and the Quran I know what they say. Both the Quran and the Bible are books of violence and intolerance.

When you look around the world and find religious violence, almost always Christianity or Islam are involved, many times both. I have to wonder….if neither of these two religions had ever existed would we be better off? Or worse off? I have to say the world would be better off without them.

bloggage

Recently, a friend of mine posted some comments on his blog about police being revenue collectors and how he was bent out of shape about it. I responded in the comments section and not only was he ENRAGED but he even ran and got his wife to tail gun me on the turn-about.

That was fine and good with me, but then he just kept going ON and ON about it. I even called him today and he was still in a finely-honed fury that I should question his judgment on his missive.

So I have asked him, why do you have a blog? Is it just a family album? He has even titled his blog “the ranting loon”, which would indicate he is ranting and raving, and he is crazy, would it not?

Wikipedia says: A blog is a user-generated website where entries are made in journal style and displayed in a reverse chronological order.
Blogs often provide commentary or news on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic. The ability for readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important part of most early blogs.
Ah well, what do I know? I thought the idea was to get some lively comment and public discourse!

I told him “hey if it bothers you that much then go ahead and erase it”! It was the most interesting thing ON the blog! HAHA!!

He did……

enough

On the way to work today I wasn’t in the best of moods, I really didn’t want to get up, and it seemed dreary and uninviting outside in the big grey world. But I dutifully went and on the way started listening to a new audio book.

I usually like mysteries but when I had gone to the used bookstore in town this weekend there wasn’t much. I was leaving with pursed lips when the owner said “hey Ed, the wife and I were listening to something lately and you might like it”. I asked what it was called and he allowed as he didn’t know. “I try and drive the car and she is in charge or taking in and out and re-winding and all of that.”

So it was called “Havana”. I immediately thought of that Robert Redford movie a few years back that never did anything. You can’t go by that though. Sometimes a book will have the same title as a movie with no relation. I read a book called “Lost in Translation”, by Nicole Menes and it had nothing to do with the Bill Murray movie, although I liked them both.

It starts out in Cuba and they are talking of assassinating Fidel. Then it switches to Siberia and some prisoners there. One prisoner named 4715 is playing another guy cards. The pot is a cockroach. They are starving and the cockroach is protein, he makes a very big deal about eating it, even going so far as giving a speech, none to the pleasure of his bunkmates.

He is then called into the office or whatever and allowed a hot shower to clean up for a visit. His describing of the shower and soap, something he had been without for months, or maybe years, was very funny. It put me in a good mood just thinking about someone so hard up a cockroach and a shower made them feel happiness, in the first time, in a long time. I smiled while driving in.

For some reason, just now, I was thinking of when I first left home. My parents had wanted to charge me room and board. I was going to school, and working a job, but that wasn’t enough I guess. They threw out a figure of $125.00 a month! I laughed at them. Why on earth would I pay THAT, I asked, when I have no privacy here?

I started looking in old Everett, in large old houses by the water, on the hill above the paper plants. Many had been turned into rooming houses and were cheap. I looked and looked. Finally I moved in with my girlfriend. We had nothing.

When I moved out I had assumed my bedroom furniture was mine. My parents however, had other ideas. They said they had paid for it and tried to sell it to me if I remember right. I told them by no means, they should keep it, and treasure it.

My girl did better, her parents let her have her single wide bed, tiny dresser and maybe a night stand. That was it, all we had.

Amazingly, we rented a two bedroom apartment in Lynnwood with hardwood floors, a deck, and a fireplace for $150.00 a month. I remember sitting on the shag carpeting together, sitting with our rumps flat on the floor not a stick of furniture in sight. We looked into each others eyes and laughed, a silly, childish, game-playing, mirthful laugh.
We were playing the game called “grown-ups” and so far we were losing. But we had each other and that was enough.

technohillbastard

Here's a note from my illiterate brother!

"one is shareaz and k light pro and bite download i candownloa and copy any thing muic or videos and make disk of them iven games for playstashion sory this thing is skiping leters because im downloadng movies rite now well bye for now o it snowed 5 nches here last night and still snowing hard"

Applelites Screaming into the Wind

I didn’t go to work today…DAMN! We had a skiff of snow here in the Puget Sound region and people love to freak around here and blow things totally out of proportion. It has become a cultural phenomenon in this area.
People, especially women, just scream at the sight of snow. Of course much of it is contrived nonsense to avoid work and that is fine with me. These women at work just wind each other into a frenzy about it. Two of them drive Jeep Wagoneers that could ford a river but can they cut through two inches of snow? EEEeeeeekkkkk!!! It is funny to watch the progression. First there is the warning OH JEEZ IT’S STIIIICCKKKING !!! We better leave right NOW!

So I was leaving and got about a block and was dead stopped, I turned around and went back to work and worked on an on-line assignment that is coming due and killed two hours. The ironic thing is if I had left when I did at first I think I would have gotten home the same time. I also heard that the road I was on at first was closed and everyone had to turn around, so I feel like I bingoed that deal.

My operations manager called and was asking me leading questions like “uh…do you think UPS will be driving today…(pregnant pause, me thinking…). I reply “oh HELL NO! those…brown… vans? With no weight in the back? Not a prayer”,and poured another cup of coffee.

Having the day off today e-mailing and relaxing for the most part I have a little apple/monkey carrying on about apple and how it is the single greatest company ever. He is on the apple computer acid trip of course but also the ipod and phone and any other fucking abomination they churn out. He is totally eaten up with the disease. He even said he watched a two hour Steve Jobs conference, most likely squinting at that ¾” ipod screen like a madman.There again, fine!? Who cares? Well he does. Just to own it and use it has never been quite enough for the appleites.

The thing about Apple computers is I have no problem with them, never have, never will. They have not hurt me in any way and they won’t because I won’t let them. HA! They are just another tool to get your hands on. I have fiddled with them a bit and they seem fine as far as they go. The Jehovah’s Witness Church and Vegan’s are fine too, just leave me out of your little personal hell.


Why shouldn’t I try it? Well besides no desire, I am invested in Windows. I don’t have hundreds of dollars in software and add-ons it is thousands. It isn’t all legally upstanding stuff but it is here ready willing and able to amuse me. I also like sticking with things. There is comfort in continuity. My e-mail address hasn’t changed in many years. If someone were to GIVE me a brand new top-of-the-line apple would I play with it? Sure why not. If I had one at work would I use it? Sure that’s the way work, works so to speak.

I was talking to our designer last night watching the snow. He has a brand new top flite apple and was using illustrator. I like watching the guy work because he is very fast and creative as well. I asked him if he stays away from the computer when he goes home at night after using it all day. He said “you can’t escape technology man”. He on lives on Capitol Hill in an apartment and has no, TV, or ipod or any sech accoutrements. He does have a laptop which runs windows and he plays games and occasionally watches a movie on it, he has no home internet connection.

I asked him about the apple deal before and he just said “hey it’s what they bought”. He seemed to think they bought apple just because they already had apple software for it. It is the only apple in the place. While he was using illustrator I said “Christ that looks just like Photoshop”. He said it is basically the same thing they just dumbed it down to run on apple J

Another reason I have never been hot for apple is it is a proprietary thing. Microsoft makes software that runs on a variety of devices, but apple makes the whole shitterey. They remind me of companies like e-machine where if you want to open the box and chisel in a new video card you are screwed you have to use their junk. They have traditionally always wanted the whole pie, the CPU’s and all the hardware. The original Mac’s had the CRT and everything all in one box which makes upgrades and changes pretty tough. Apple used to sue people all the time if they copied their designs.

It reminds a person of Sony Beta-Max or Polaroid. They both really missed the boat by being greedy, stingy fucks and apple almost did too. They almost went under in what, 97? One reason they didn’t is they got some “partnership” money from Microsoft. If you really think about it I bet it is actually in Microsoft’s best interest they stay afloat to avoid more anti-trust heat. Anyway apple has just been a cluster fuck through the years. Now they LOVE Jobs, before they kicked him out of the company.
Can you remember back when he was pushing NEXT? GAWD I guess that software is like Microsoft’s ME, the worst product they ever made.

When these discussions come up people always assume, wrongly, that Windows computers are the first I have owned they would be wrong. The first was a Commodore. I did play around with something they were trying to call a “computer” at Edmonds CC, which used punchcards. After Commodore I bought a Tandy which had its own OS if you want to call it that. I needed a word processor and it did do that and I had a couple games and limped along with it. It was a damn site better than a typewriter.

For a couple years I didn’t have a computer and when I finally re-upped it was Windows 95. All the things they had promised us for years were finally coming true. I use mine now for work, home and school. I shop on it, communicate, and all manner of things like photography. It is damn handy and I use it all the time and never once in my life have I needed or wanted an apple.

I do think PC’s are a little harder to maintain. MACs are more for the type of people that just want to put gas in their car and drive it and never have to know how it actually works. I have heard it said that PC owners are the type that are more likely to rip the side off their machine and tear into it and I agree with that analogy. More women like MACs.

But my little friend didn’t say today that apple is changing its name and taking the “computer” off. He also thought it was good news that they were making it so you could dual boot into OSX or Windows. They are making MAC’s now with INTEL processors and most people who use MAC’s use Microsoft Office for MAC’s . Seems funny to me, damn funny to bitch about Microsoft then use their products.

Face it folks apple has hung its hat on the ipod and iphone and similar products. Face it applelites you lost the computer software war sometime back and no one cares about apple hardware. Go ahead and start screaming into the wind about how the iphone is god’s gift to the technorati. Buy your $599 iphone I will limp along with my free phone that works great and has a better camera, text messaging, internet and more.